Nudity For Fun and Profit Chapter Sixteen: BFF
Heloise is sprawled out on the couch with her knees in the air. A cup of tea steams on the coffee table. The television blares mindlessly, though it doesn’t look like she’s watching it.
I wander over and perch on the arm of the easy chair.
“Hey,” I greet her.
She doesn’t look up. She’s immersed in something. I glance at the TV screen, pick up the remote and turn the sound down.
“Since when do you watch motocross?” I grin.
“There was nothing else on,” she mumbles.
“There never is. I don’t know why we still get cable.”
“HBO,” she says.
“What’s that in your lap?”
Heloise smiles wistfully and lifts up her photo album. “Remember the first time we went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show?”
I take the album from her and settle into the chair. “Wasn’t that sophomore year?” I ask.
“No, we were freshmen.”
There are four pages of Rocky Horror pictures. Heloise is dressed as Columbia, and she’s holding up that tube top manually in nearly every shot. I’m Magenta in a borrowed maid’s costume that’s too large for me. We both look ridiculous.
“Didn’t we use to wear the same amount of makeup to go out on a regular night?” I wonder.
“Almost,” she admits.
“I remember that big, stupid wig being so warm that when winter came, I seriously thought about wearing it as a hat.”
“You stood over me in the dark one night wearing it and chanting gibberish at me while we were drunk,” she recalls. “Do you remember that?”
I laugh. “Yeah, I do. You nearly peed in your bed.” I flip through dozens of party pictures. “Is that Jonathan Kinney?”
Heloise sits up on her knees and looks over my shoulder. “It sure is. He wore a retainer at night, didn’t he? I still can’t believe you slept with him.”
“Neither can I. It was a mercy fuck.”
“For you or for him?”
I glare at her. “Very funny. Whatever happened to him, anyway?”
“He’s spending a year backpacking around Europe.” She snickers. “To find himself.”
“Interesting. I couldn’t find him either. That there was a tiny pecker.”
“Yeah, I know. We called him Mini Kinney behind his back.” Heloise takes the album, rifles through it one more time, and closes it. “Alicia, you used to be so much fun.”
I hug a throw pillow. Finally I say, “I may have been kind of preoccupied lately.”
“Kind of? I don’t even know who you are any more. When’s the last time you pulled a really satisfying prank on someone?”
“There’s also such a thing as life after college, you know,” I defend myself.
“Apparently. When’s the last time you even saw anyone we know from school besides me?”
“When was the last time you did? You never seem to go to class anymore.”
“It’s spring break,” she replies.
“What about last week? Did spring break come early for you?”
Heloise stares out the window. “What was last week, Alicia? Do you know?”
“Am I supposed to?”
She swivels her head again to face me. “Wednesday ring any bells for you at all?”
I mull it over. “I give up.”
Heloise stands and puts her photo album down on the coffee table. “It was my birthday, Alicia. You totally forgot.”
“Oh, no!” I exclaim. “Heloise, I’m sorry. I definitely owe you a present. Let’s go shopping on Sunday, okay?”
She gazes at me sadly.
“Bloomie’s?” I offer.
She shakes her head. “I don’t want you to buy me anything. I just want my friend back.”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t gone anywhere,” I object.
Heloise picks an old copy of Cosmo up off the floor, leafs through it absently, and then throws it onto the coffee table on top of her photo album.
“You don’t even see it, do you?” she muses, more to herself than to me.
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